Senescense and Endings

I feel empty.
So this is how it feels.
So this is what they call “break-up”.
This is that thing that I long want to happen.
This is that thing that I think that is best to do in our situation.
The thing that’s rooted from my unfaithfulness in this relationship.
The thing that I wanted to gain back my freedom.
Now that I had it,
Why does it still feel so empty?
Why do I feel so lost?
Why does my heart feel so numb?
Why do I feel guilty?
Isn’t this the right thing to do?
Did I make the right decision?
Is this really what I want?
Is this really what WE need?
Is it?
I don’t know anymore.
My head is clouded with memories.
Memories that could have been squeezed through the juicer in our hearts so that we can learn to love again.
But instead it was like mist in the windshield of a car
Wipered aside and let the water flow.
Like the tears in her eyes when I told her to let me go.
It crushes my heart to see her like that,
But I don’t want to do this anymore.
Our feelings for each other bloomed like roses, so beautiful.
Yet was picked a little too soon. Too young.
I was too excited, and she was too afraid.
We should have waited for it to grow a little more. Bloom a little bigger.
Hence we helplessly observed
As its petals turn brown.
As its fragrance turn foul.
As the sweet talks turns to arguments.
As the love we had turn into annoyance.
I promised her forever.
But I guess like the flower,
Our forever was short lived.