Student Leadership

I never expected being a student leader would be this exhausting until I find myself waking up because of ten missed calls from constituents asking for their subsidy to be released. I ought to yell at them to let me sleep a little more. But my throat could only utter rough incomprehensible moans which they’ll loosely interpret as yes. I’ll then be awed with all the things they’ll claim I’ve agreed. More often than not, I have no idea about these things.

I have no one to blame. Under my job description it says: “You must be servant of the people”. I took the job, signed up for it. I just didn’t expect that not having seniors to rely on will be this different. Or more precisely, I did not expect that being the senior to rely on will be this difficult.

Currently, I am the chairperson for the committee on sports, literary, musical and cultural affairs. Technically, the whole participation of my constituents for the university’s Intramurals is riding on my shoulders. I’m like the HR manager slash budget administrator slash press relations officer when it comes to matters regarding the upcoming intramurals. That is while still working my part as a councilor, which means I still do proposals and resolutions and let them be approved before I make my move. Just add me being the undersecretary of my president for the Supreme Student Council (which means that I’ll go, voice out and vote in his name during meetings of the council he is unable to attend), plus I am the captain of our basketball team. Ain’t it fun?

The problem with this is, people think that I’m a fucking machine. They almost think that I can simultaneously listen to and respond to the concerns of thirty-six people at a time. There was literally a scenario when, while I was talking to the head of a certain event, another head of a certain event suddenly rushes in yelling my name and asking about the uniform subsidy. In my head I was like, “Punyeta, can’t you wait?” But then, here goes my tendency to please everyone; hence I ended up listening and responding to them both as the same time. It was madness I tell you.

But that was just the fun part. The “what the fuck are you kidding me?” part is when after all the meetings I called, the agreements I had, the guidelines I published through approved proposals and resolutions, there was this one “important” person who allegedly was uninformed. He would then ignite a crazy rebellion by breaking all the guidelines and creating a rule of his own. Some fuckers then will join this revolt and thus, everything that was agreed and approved upon was scratch. This will then put my authority into question.

Sometimes I can understand Ferdinand Marcos or Hitler on why they preferred to rule on a dictatorial way. It’s because of the fact that some people want to be greater than everyone else. This causes these some to “just don’t listen” because their mindset is fixed to the idea that “I am better than you, I am better than this leader”. That’s why when everyone is given a right to put power into their will, chaos is eminent to ensue. So if you are on top and you want unity, dictatorship must be the solution.

But I guess it’s still to early to declare martial law on our college since these acts of disobedience is still manageable. Since I’m the one in position, I have the access to all the things I need to keep things go my way. I can still tap our dean whenever I needed help so all in all;

I’VE GOT POWER! But then again, “With power, comes responsibility”.

I can still remember how I prepared for this day two years ago. I avoided smoking for a week just to save enough money for that phone call, only to sing you a happy birthday at exactly twelve midnight. I can’t vividly picture your reaction but based on the tone of your voice, I can say that you’re happy with it. I can also still remember how you returned the favor by calling me at 2:00am on my birthday. I would have appreciated it more though if you weren’t drunk and didn’t start crying after three minutes. Funny how two years felt like a score in my world. You grow up so fast I can’t catch up. I’m like a twelve year old kid compared to you now. Maybe I should start calling you “ate”. 

Can you still remember how we became best friends back in high school? You were like “I want him out of my life” and I was like “I’ll help you with that”. It’s funny because it almost felt like we’re only closer when you are brokenhearted. I don’t blame you, I volunteered for the job. And as the way things are now, I guess there’s really no need for me to be in the picture. Don’t take it the wrong way; I’m very happy for you. You managed to move on with your life and find happiness. It’s something that I have yet to learn. And all the more reason for me to call you “ate”.

Anyways, happy birthday to my dearest, ugly best friend! I really do hope that we still are best friends even due to the evident lack of communication between us.

P.S. Don’t expect me to initiate conversation. My towering pride is still indestructible even if I miss you. And yes, I miss you.

Sometimes when I get bullied so much, I think of murdering people to show them what i’m capable of doing. I try to suppress my wrath but there are really times when I just suddenly find myself gripping something sharp.