Sometimes I miss the times when I can smile even if nobody made a joke. I used to bring a happy aura. I’ve been kind of depressing lately.
Here I am again in front of the computer. Doing nothing. Scribbling without inspiration, without anything in mind. On the contrary, I am writing something now, which could probably mean that something is lurking the vast space of my mind. I hate it when it’s like this. I don’t wanna sleep, I don’t wanna play, I don’t want to do anything. These are one of the reasons why I like having a class. I always have something to do, something to ponder during my blank periods. Will I pass? Will I fail? Do I even care?
Speaking of, I lost the motivation during the exam yesterday. It turns out, I already passed and taking the final exam will only try to raise my grade a little. I don’t know when I started settling down for just a passing grade. My desire for higher grades went extinct along with my dreams. Now I’m just a living robot with the goal to graduate, earn money to eat, and after a few years, die alone. I despise every day that I wake up and feel less interested with the world and everyone around me.