Stars

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When I was little, I wanted to be an astronomer.
I was fascinated about stars.
They twinkle.
They shine.
They shoot.
They fall.
Then when I grew up I realized,
That not all stars are up in the night sky.
Others are just around you.
But the thing about stars is,
Stars are for your eyes only.
No matter how hard you try,
You can never reach it.
But I kept trying.
You know why?
Because again,

Stars can fall.

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Stars

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When I was little, I wanted to be an astronomer.
I was fascinated about stars.
They twinkle.
They shine.
They shoot.
They fall.
Then when I grew up I realized,
That not all stars are up in the night sky.
Others are just right in front of you.
But the thing is,
Stars are for your eyes only.
No matter how hard you try,
You can never reach it.
But I kept trying.
You know why?
Because again,

Stars can fall.

“Hi”

The clock is ticking. The game plan is on. Everyone’s in position. They’re watching me. I have to make my move.

I’ve been planning this for months; made sure that everything goes flawlessly and smoothly when the most perfect moment has come. I’ve studied all the possibilities; every angle, every outcome, every permutation that could perchance occur. Foolproof, you could call it. Not a hole left uncovered, nor a room intended for mistake.

I have been waiting for this, for this moment to finally come. But though I have foreseen that this is inevitably going to happen sooner or later, now that the time has finally come, I find it hard even just to move my feet and take a step. Perfect have all the preparations I’ve made, but the real thing still is more nerve-racking than the theory. Shivers ran down my spine, but never shall I back off now.

“I can do this,” I comforted myself. I cracked my fingers as if I’ll be going into a fistfight. Definitely, for me this is a lot more than that. I’ve betted this all my pride, my dignity, my guts, my heart. I can’t afford blowing this up. I can’t afford the cost of a broken heart.

Then finally for this crux, I have gathered all my strengths and guts; for the sake of my heart. Slowly, I took a step. I feel a rush of adrenaline flowing through my veins as soon as my feet touched the ground. My heart beats gradually faster and faster. It’s like falling freely over a cliff. I experience an extreme type of high, like I’m in a trance.

Thence, as the sequence of events brought me standing a few steps from her, she gazed at me soul; and smiled. My heart skipped a beat. And thus I smiled back and suddenly,

“Hi!”

Three – point – zero.

“Yyyyeeeeeaaaaaaah!”, the other users in the internet café turned their heads on me as I disturbingly screamed in joy when I saw the 3.0 mark in my most horrifying subject this year in math. Though it was a relatively low rating, the lowest passing actually, for someone who is very close to committing suicide if he failed, it is a big sigh of relief and a cause for a celebration.

However, even if I passed, I still cannot believe that it’s true because all the odds were already against me. For example, our professor hates latecomers, which is a thing in which I could say I am best. Another, I had terrible scores in all 5 of our exams: 17, 9, 17, 9, 20 and the average total score for each test is 55, am I near the 50% passing cut-off? And on the last month of the school year (March), maybe I had only attended class once. All in all, my professor has all the reasons to give me a failing grade.

But he didn’t. So, even though there’s not enough evidence to prove it, maybe – no, not maybe – more probably, I did well on his final exam. Well, I studied all the reasons I failed all my preliminary exams and most the causes are my carelessness, not following rules, and more not following rules. Mostly not following rules. That’s why in the finals, I tried my best to follow the rules, I don’t know about the answer this time, but I’m sure I have followed the rules. So maybe that’s the reason I passed.

Now that I thought about it, if my assumption is correct, then in college, we are trained to follow rules. And failing to do so means failure to pass. Wait a minute, in math, there are lots of ways to approach a problem. But, this time, there is only one and only one solution. That is, the solution of our professor. Is this real math now? Or the training to become robots?

Now I know why Bill Gates dropped out of school. It’s because he realized that school is making him a robot, a dumb element in the system. He knows that he can do more for the world, and staying in the university makes his thinking, his imagination, narrower and narrower until he graduates with a thread-like imagination. So he refused to be a part of the system. Now, where did it get him?

Point is we are people. We need imagination in order to live. So schools, please stop obstructing our minds to explore.

Three – point – zero.

“Yyyyeeeeeaaaaaaah!”, the other users in the internet café turned their heads on me as I disturbingly screamed in joy when I saw the 3.0 mark in my most horrifying subject this year in math. Though it was a relatively low rating, the lowest passing actually, for someone who is very close to committing suicide if he failed, it is a big sigh of relief and a cause for a celebration.

However, even if I passed, I still cannot believe that it’s true because all the odds were already against me. For example, our professor hates latecomers, which is a thing in which I could say I am best. Another, I had terrible scores in all 5 of our exams: 17, 9, 17, 9, 20 and the average total score for each test is 55, am I near the 50% passing cut-off? And on the last month of the school year (March), maybe I had only attended class once. All in all, my professor has all the reasons to give me a failing grade.

But he didn’t. So, even though there’s not enough evidence to prove it, maybe – no, not maybe – more probably, I did well on his final exam. Well, I studied all the reasons I failed all my preliminary exams and most the causes are my carelessness, not following rules, and more not following rules. Mostly not following rules. That’s why in the finals, I tried my best to follow the rules, I don’t know about the answer this time, but I’m sure I have followed the rules. So maybe that’s the reason I passed.

Now that I thought about it, if my assumption is correct, then in college, we are trained to follow rules. And failing to do so means failure to pass. Wait a minute, in math, there are lots of ways to approach a problem. But, this time, there is only one and only one solution. That is, the solution of our professor. Is this real math now? Or is this training to become robots?