Can. This. Be. LOVE? Again? NOOO!

Since the vacation started, I have been creating an organized scheme on how to get my super crush’s attention. And by “organized”, I mean it. I made a well thought plan based on the data I gather everytime I stalk her facebook profile. Yeah, I am that crazy. And here’s the plan:

“Based on the data gathered, the target nicknamed “SuperKras” shows evidences that she is going to take subjects this summer. Statistical measurements suggests that this day, (Apr. 11) is the day with the highest probability that the target could be caught enrolling for the summer class.

Data about the summer enrollment was taken into consideration. Data analysis reveals that the place at a particular time in which she is most likely to be present is the BA&A Faculty office (CBA building) at around 8am to 12pm or the Cashier/Registrar (Y building) at around 1pm-3pm.

But recent data implies some prospect that she’s already done with the encoding which was held at the BA&A faculty office. Simultaneously, I have a General Assembly to attend from 9am to 12am. Therefore, the best chance to take without jeopardizing any other activities is the latter.

If visual was made, immediately flash a cheerful smile, wave hands to her and say “Hi”. If the target responds, ask few more questions to stall her like “Are you enrolling for the summer class?”, “What subjects are you going to take this summer?”, “Who are you with?”. “How’s the academic life?” and the like. If found out that she’s alone, ask her if it’s okay to escort her, if positive, everything else follows, if negative, proceed to the dormitory, lie down, try not to cry, cry a lot.”

So at 1:15pm, I headed to the Y building to hunt for her. Result, no signs of her. Then I hopelessly took my chances at the CBA building, definitely, negative. Because of desperation and boredom, I ended up scanning the 150-hectare university grounds to look for a girl that doesn’t even give a shit about me. The result, no signs of her.

Where have I gone wrong with my analysis! Are the data not enough? Is she already enrolled? Will she really be taking summer classes on the first place?

I almost gone crazy. I see every girl with a chestnut-brown hair as her. Only after three blinks before I snap back into reality. To the reality that I could never see her again for months. (Okay that’s really OA over there)

Is this what they call love?


B-bu-but, what’s wrong about being in-love?


Definitely, we will all experience frustration, sorrow and agony once we fell in LOVE. But the question is, IS SHE WORTH THE PAIN?

Miss Tuesday-Friday



(I heard from a movie that the best way to get over someone is to turn that person into literature. So after a semester of waiting in vain, here we go.)

We sat on both ends of the diagonal on one of Gemma’s lecture halls. Just perfect, even though she’s farthest to me than everyone else, because I could maintain a vague image of her on the corner of my eye as I pretend to pay attention to the lecturer.

I always wanted to draw close, but I fear that the star I longed to capture would melt me the moment I dare go near – like a prey trying to hunt its own predator. Hence, I decided to keep a safe distance away from her, and hoped that one day, this star would fall – fall for me.

Thus, from the other end of the diagonal, I hopelessly stole a glimpse of her, and kept the image I seized in my memory. Desperately, every minute, I covertly sneaked a peek on a piece of heaven in that classroom. Then suddenly, after a thousand of stolen glances, I caught her glancing back at me. Our eyes met. It felt like that the cosmos suddenly stood still in order for me to cherish a moment that makes probability theorems collapse.

I never know if that moment could ever happen again. But that instant, that once every one thousand times that she became aware of my presence makes me feel more than just a phantom. Like a spark that abruptly gives off a split-second brightness in the dark, giving a jolt of hope to my heart and keeps it beating.

Though it seemed that a flash of light blinked at the end of the tunnel, the class was dismissed. So as my hopes vanished.



So after 4 years since I created this blog, I decided to, maybe post a little more in here. Being a major in mathematics is difficult. And lately, I found writing as a way to relieve the stress caused by endless days of facing numbers and logic. Sometimes, i feel nauseous and ask myself; why the fuck did I choose Mathematics as a degree in college?

Oh! Recently, i have started another blog in Tumblr, might wanna check it out. And maybe, I’ll be posting some of my post there in here so that this blog would have some life.

That’s all maybe. Oh yeah, and here’s the link :